Welcome to this week’s edition.

Bullying is a fact of life for many of us, from childhood to adulthood and at work. Many of us have had first hand experience and I wanted to share my story to highlight to anyone who may be struggling.

If you need help with being bullied, please seek help and talk to someone about what is happening.  The Anti Bullying Alliance is a great resource

My Story 

Whilst working for my last firm after nearly ten years of employment and three promotions in that time, there were some internal changes and as a result someone who wasn’t really equipped to manage became my boss. This was due to the fact that my immediate boss wanted to put another layer of management in as the company had grown.

The person I’d know for a couple of years and to date we’d got on well. However, once she become my boss, she became The Bully, her actions we so out of character that I booked some time with her to have a face to face and explain, I tried to help and support her so to reduce her stress so that would reduce her actions towards me. I tried several times to speak with her and tried to stand my ground, however, she knocked my confidence so much that I stopped pushing back, I became more accepting of her actions thinking she would focus away from me if I stopped the resistance. Unfortunately, this had the worst effect possible and she stepped up her bullying towards me which ended up with me just avoiding her, I took days off, missed meetings and just tried to duck out.

I went to my old manager now my manager’s manager, but this was a catastrophic error, as the two managers discussed my “complaint” as she put it. It got worse and worse still.

Despite my best effort this was not going to stop so I left the business after 10 years, the culture needed to be changed as I was unable to get support and I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.

After my resignation was given to the Manager, I was sent on garden leave, I was so happy that I turned off my phone and set my out of office, however just before my phone went off my Director who was now three ahead of me, called and asked for a sit down coffee the next day, as he was shocked that I was leaving.

We met for coffee, he drove three hours to meet me at the local Costa, I was not sure what to say as my experience of speaking out hadn’t really worked out, but, hey what did I have to lose? So I told him my story, and he promised to sort it out, he offered me another promotion, a side step into a different division so as not to have to deal with the bully any longer and a huge pay rise. But I had made up my mind. I took the plunge and left.

I was so pleased to leave even without another job lined up, and as one door closed another opens. My partner Anita who had started Parmar Staffing offered me a position. I was a little scared at first at the thought of working with my Wife, however, it was a great move.

It took some time to build up my confidence after this time of my life, however, I still stand by my decision as the best move I’d made.

Have you ever experienced bullying in the workplace, how did you cope with it maybe you are currently living with it. I feel your pain and understand the challenges you may be going through.

Remember, get some support, from friends or family.

Until next time.

Steve

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